To Victims and Survivors of Campus Sexual Violence,
In times that can feel overwhelming and filled with injustices, difficult news, and troubling public commentary, we want each of you to know that we at NJCASA are here for you, that your experiences matter, and that we believe you.
The discourse surrounding the Cornell sexual assault case follows a painful and familiar pattern. Instead of centering the responsibilities of those who caused and excused violence, public conversation scrutinizes survivors—their actions, decisions, and responses.
Sexual violence is never the fault of a survivor. No survivor should have to defend their behavior or justify their experience to deserve compassion, protection, and justice.
Hearing stories about sexual violence can bring up hard feelings, painful memories, and questions about your own experiences. Please know that your story matters, and your feelings, pain, and experiences are completely valid.
If the headlines feel overwhelming, it is okay to step away, take a break, turn off alerts, and reach out for support. Give yourself permission to honor your emotions and practice self-care in whatever ways feel nourishing to you.
As these conversations continue, we want to share some important reminders:
- What happened to you was not your fault. No matter the circumstances—how much you were drinking, what you were wearing, where you went, or what you initially consented to—you are not responsible for the violence you experienced. The responsibility for harm lies with the person(s) who perpetrated it.
- Your intoxication or substance use does not diminish the violence you experienced, make you responsible for what happened, or make your account any less worthy of being believed. Your choices and actions should not come with a threat of violence.
- Trauma responses can look different for everyone. When the body is under threat, your nervous system automatically selects a survival strategy. This could look like fighting, escaping, freezing, or complying. Trauma can also result in fragmented or unclear memories of traumatic events. Your responses do not invalidate your experience, and you do not have to respond to trauma in a particular way to be believed.
- It can take time to process what happened to you. You may feel shock, confusion, anxiety, anger, or numbness in the aftermath of sexual violence. You may not immediately have the words to describe your experience, or you may understand it differently over time. You are allowed to take time to process, and this time does not diminish what happened to you.
- Healing is not linear, and there is no single pathway. Healing takes time and can be difficult. Healing can also be filled with strength, resilience, and hope. You deserve support, safety, and the opportunity to heal in a way that feels right for you.
- Justice and accountability can take many forms. While some survivors may want to report their experience, pursue legal action, or publicly share their story, others may not. There is no single right way to respond to what happened to you. Your choices belong to you.
- Institutions have a responsibility to protect you. If you choose to engage in campus or institutional processes, you deserve to be heard, respected, and protected. You are allowed to call systems out for failing to support survivors, mishandling reporting, and for contributing to unsafe campus cultures.
We believe you, we support you, and what happened to you is not your fault.
At NJCASA, we are committed to creating a future rooted in safety, justice, and healing for all survivors. Creating this reality requires sustained action to prevent sexual violence, hold people and institutions accountable, challenge harmful social norms, and build safe and survivor-centered communities. The onus for preventing sexual violence does not belong to survivors. It belongs to all of us.
With love & in solidarity,
The Team at NJCASA
